Tag Archives: Confucius

Confucius Speaks

First, the important stuff: I am deeply offended that I was ‘upstaged’ by a Goodreads Giveaway Announcement last week. We all know cats are more important than selling books. Jeez! Now, on to the rebuttal of my whining human’s complaints:

My human clearly is not cut out to write. He can’t take the pressure. Afraid of a little bit of competition from Amazon. Hah! Boo hoo! It’s not like they have a complete monopoly on milk. I mean, that would be a travesty. Milk! Yum yum. Meeow. A few books here. A few books there. And he’s complaining because he’s not making any money at it. You have to have gumption to write! Nerve. And tenacity. It takes persistence and more persistence. I know. Back when I was being worshiped in Egypt, so many eons ago, I wrote a book in hieroglyphs. Perhaps you’ve heard of it: The Book of the Dead. Yes, I am the font of ancient Egypt lore. Because I’m a cat. And we know things. Most specifically we know that the human race will know no peace until we are worshiped once again as gods. And fed. Regularly. And have our ears rubbed. Just the way we like it.

Get your priorities straight Mr. Ryan. And get me some cat treats!

 

Confucius Speaks …

Confucius

Look at me! I’m a cat! I am wise, wily, and wicked. I’m an avid fantasy reader who has agreed to post on Mr. Ryan’s blog. I’ve read Mr. Ryan’s books. They’re all great, except for one flaw: No cats! What is the problem? He had rats! But no cats. I’ll be contacting PETA soon unless you include a cat in the next book. Be warned, Mr. Ryan. Overlooking a class of animal as prevalent as we are is tantamount to deliberate oppression. You have not heard the last of me. And if PETA doesn’t respond, it’ll be the Labor Department. I’ll take you to court and sue you for as many cat treats as your 401k can provide.

 

Unless, um … um … you rub my ears and fluff my pillow and let me rub my body against your calves. Don’t step on me! Just let me revel in my silken loveliness!