For the record, I absolutely do NOT endorse jokes targeting an individual’s race or ethnicity or any such thing, so don’t interpret today’s post as some subtle offhanded slight to whatever group you feel inclined to include. It is meant to be a completely silly post. Nothing more. But the fact remains, due to increased sensitivities of the public at large, we (all of us) can no longer poke fun at anyone without being branded insensitive or worse. So, to rectify that problem I give you ten Stupid Hobgoblin Jokes (be warned, I am not a particularly skilled joke crafter. These jokes are really awful, and I mean really awful), because hobgoblins don’t exist, and even if they did, they’d be too stupid to recognize that they were being made fun of.
1. What do you call 1000 hobgoblins at the bottom of the ocean?
–A good start.
2. What do you call 999 hobgoblins at the bottom of the ocean?
–One short of a thousand.
3. An orc, a troglodyte, and a hobgoblin walk into a restaurant. The waiter asks: What will you have?
–The orc says, “An elf.” The troglodyte says, “A human.” The hobgoblin says, “I already ate.”
4. An orc, a troglodyte, and a hobgoblin walk into a bar. The bartender asks: What will you have?
–The orc says, “Elf juice.” The troglodyte says, “A Bloody Mary.” The hobgoblin says, “I’ll have what they’re having.” Then, he steals the drinks and runs away.
5. An orc, a troglodyte, and a hobgoblin step onto a train. The conductor says to the orc, “You have to pay ten dollars.” The orc says, “What? Ten dollars? Never.” And he steps off the train. The conductor says to the troglodyte, “You have to pay thirty dollars.” The troglodyte says, “What? Thirty dollars? Ridiculous.” Grumbling, he fishes in his pocket for the money, hands it to the conductor, and takes his seat. The conductor says to the hobgoblin, “You have to pay twenty dollars.” The hobgoblin says, “What? Pay?”
6. How many hobgoblins does it take to screw in a light bulb?
–Two. One to screw it in, and one to bash it to bits when the light comes on.
7. How many hobgoblins does it take to screw in a light bulb?
–Silly question. Light bulbs weren’t around when hobgoblins lived.
8. What’s a hobgoblin’s favorite dessert?
9. Why did the hobgoblin get arrested after visiting the graveyard?
–He ripped apart all the gravestones.
10. Knock, knock.
A hobgoblin who?
If you have any Stupid Hobgoblin Jokes you’d like to share, just tack ‘em on in the comments. Finally, I’ve set up a poll so you can give me feedback on the quality of these jokes: Stupid Hobgoblin Jokes Poll. The poll will stay active until 8/29/2013.